Pineapple Jam

Pineapples just might be my favorite fruit.  They are delicious, take 2.5 years to bear fruit and make your nether bits more...inviting.  Did you know they're technically a berry? Shit is cray.  When you're done eating them, you can slice off the top and set it in a small pool of water until it roots and grow your own pineapple.

Pineapples are beautifully versatile.  They can be used to tenderize and marinate pork for pastor tacos, juiced, eaten raw, carmelized in butter and sugar for cake and my personal favorite, pineapple jam.
A couple of years ago, Cody and I went on a food trip to Las Vegas and ended up eating at Thomas Keller's Bouchon for breakfast.  They served us flaky croissants with little pots of sweet whipped butter and pineapple jam.

How come this isn't more common? How come people are still eating disgusting jelly packets when delicious homemade jams with real fruit and real flavor take less than ten minutes to make?
Fuck that shit.  Try this jam.  Just trust me.  Then you can make fancy pineapple jam and coconut butter sandwiches, use it in vinaigrettes or use it as your sweet component in sweet and sour sauce.

Grab a ripe pineapple(test that by gently tugging on one of the inner leaves, if it comes off easily, whoo boy you got yerself a good one), chop off the top and bottom and slice the skin off, making sure to not leave behind any barbs or seeds.

I didn't intentionally carve this into a creepy baby face

You can see the core if you look at the top of the pineapple.  Don't eat that, it's woody and tough.  Just slice around it in four segments.

Chop it up! I like a medium dice, but I like a chunkier jam.  You can slice it up finer if you like, even throw it in the food processor.

I usually don't use pectin in my jam and just rely on the natural pectin in the fruit, but pineapple has an enzyme in it that makes it a little harder to gel.  It's also be used as an anti-inflammatory and is apparently great for your colon.
Throw the pectin in with the fruit in a large sauce pot, make sure you have enough room because when you add the sugar, it will usually bubble up quite a bit.

 MASH IT.

Cook it down until it starts to boil.  Some people add butter to reduce foaming, but I don't because it's more likely to go rancid that way.  Just skim the foam off if you want a clear jam.
When it reaches a boil, add all your sugar, bring back up to a boil and allow to cook for a minute, or until it gels.  You can test that by keeping a metal spoon in the freezer and dripping a little bit of the jam on it, if it solidifies, you are solid.

OH

MY

GOODNESS

There you have it, mothafuckin jam.  You can can it if you'd like in order to preserve it for longer or pass it out as gifts.  Here's a horrendously designed, but super handy website on the process of canning http://www.pickyourown.org/jam.htm

BOOM

I only used one pineapple and the yield was a pint, here's a recipe for two.  If you use small canning jars, you could probably get 6-7 jars out of this.

Pineapple Jam

4.5 cups prepared pineapple(about 2 pineapples)

1 box pectic(I use Sure Jell)

5.5 cups sugar

Direction:

1. Prepare canning jars as needed, soak lids in hot water, sanitize all equipment and start boiling water bath if using.

2. Mix prepared fruit with pectin in a large saucepot.  Mash until juices are released and mixture comes to a boil.

3. Add all sugar at once.  Skim foam if you like.  Bring back up to a boil and boil for 1 minute.

4. Test for gelling by dripping mixture on cold spoon.  If it's gelled enough, can that shit!  Wipe off the rims, throw on the lids and boil them in your water bath(submerged by at least an inch) for five minute(ten minutes in high elevation).

5.  Place jars on a cooling rack over night.  Pretty soon you'll be hearing the magical pop of the lids sealing themselves.

6.  Eat or give to friends and become everyone's favorite person.

Sunflower for scale.